Perspective.

The last two days have been hard ones for me. I have been discouraged and frustrated. I have questioned my purpose. Am I being heard-is God being heard through me? I don't know. I would like to give the obvious response of "of course" but I just feel the weight of it all. I feel the weight of those that do not understand the relationship they are missing, the freedom Jesus gives. I feel the weight for those that have all of the "sunday school" answers but don't give a rip about God or what He is doing in their lives. I am frustrated with those that are disrespectful, bitter, and angry yet my heart breaks for those same ones. What am I to do? When do I speak? When do I not? I have no idea. I don't know what to say to the 15 year old who is doing drugs, having sex, and going to jail for stealing all the while her dad is a pastor for the homeless in a park. I have 5 boys in my Bible Study! How the heck do I relate? When do I draw the line? Will they still respect me? Will they still like me? I feel as if my two weeks here with them has meant nothing. I want to be close with them, to share their struggles, but for now I am a stranger on the outside looking in, feeling their pain but not sharing it. I can only cry, I can only pray. Last night I laid there in my bed and prayed for God to help me, to lead me... sometime later I began to reread my journal entries and found this- ok so this was amazing (not that I wrote it but that God used something I had written before to encourage me :))...here it is from the flight over here:
2 hourse and some odd to go. I am beginning to feel the excitement. It's crazy how it seems so simple- get on a plane or two and you suddenly are a world away from home-from the ones you love. It seems perspective keeps coming up. Everything is a matter of perspective. I am aware that I have been up for longer than the clock tells me but because of the sun I am fooled. Now my perspective is that it is 3:00 or 4:00p.m. Wonder what all in life is misunderstood due to a lack of perspective? I hope to see the world from the perspective of Christ. Full of hope-because of Him. Able to be redeemed. If not...why live with Him? There must be a perspective that we don't always see. Because I only see the failures of man, the sin, the sickness, the injustice-oh the injustice! I pray to have eyes of hope. To move and act in love. I pray we would come to understand the one reoccuring fact-it isn't about us, or our opinion or perspective-but here's the irony-it's all about us with Him, in Him. His point of view lived out through us. What does Christ see and how to show that with my physical being? See how we become part? We don't get it all. We are just part, but what a beautiful part to play! The being of Christ's perspective.