Change.

When I think about my future I can't help but think about my past. Where I have been. The places that I have seen. The friends that have impressed my spirit. When I think about times past I can't help but to grieve. To grieve memories lost, time wasted, the hurt, the laughs. I see time clearly, tangibly. I hold the still images in my mind and in an instant they return from which they came. The tears, they come, they flood my spirit. Change encroaches and I wish to retreat. I wish to run, to return to the days of old, to be me before now. Why must we change? Why must life change? I can imagine the disciples in their despair. Jesus has been their friend, their teacher, their family...and then the plan changes, life happens, and His ends. Why? Why does it have to happen. I am happy. I am just fine here now. I am just now getting the hang of it, don't take it now. No. But He must. If I am to grow, to sink my roots down deep into Him, it must happen. They journey must continue and the music will play on. Can anyone see, does anyone know, can you hear me? It hurts. I don't want to do this, I proclaim! Is there any other way? Why have you forsaken me? The ironic yet reassuring fact remains, the God I can't see, and have never audibly heard sustains. He wipes away my tears, and holds me when it hurts. He tells me He knows...He knows life that was meant to be something else, but in time and in evil it changed...oh but look what a beautiful masterpiece it became. Change. It must. I must. But how? I only look back to see that it has happened, but take no note of it in the process...God has a plan. and it changes in time and in evil. but a beautiful masterpiece I will become.